I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent calendar. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? 124. To make it stuff, u lick it. Because he had very low elf esteem. A $100 bill. 142. A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? She choked. What is an elf’s favorite sport? Recipes. Funny adult jokes … What’s long, hard and erects stuff? 67. 101. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone. 68. How do you get a nun pregnant? Why does Santa land on the roof? Tips. Not being a retard. Why does Santa have elves in his workshop? 76. Videos; Dirty Funny Pictures, Jokes. 77. After you’ve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. “If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try, Try Again” & 99 Other Inspiring Growth Mindset Quotes, 250 of the Cutest, Most Inspiring and Silliest Quotes About Children, 25 of the Funniest Christmas Memes We’ve Seen on Twitter, Better Not Cry, Better Not Pout! A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, “Anything you say can and will be held against you.” The man replies, “Boobs!”. Why does Santa have three gardens? Because they were two deer! But sometimes they even outdo us adults. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Her mom responded, “Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!” Maria replied, “See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!”. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice? 3. Because he likes it on top. 71. Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. 28. What did the leper say to the prostitute? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep sh*t. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer! 86. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot? Why did the snowman want a divorce? Big pile of Russian Jokes for adults. You’d better be. Funny Pictures Ads Animal Art, Design Baby Pics Captions Cars, Bikes Cartoon Celebrity Crazy Dirty Fail Facebook Fashion Food iPhone messages Meme faces Military Movies People Pranks Random School Signs Sport Weird GIFs. Why do women have orgasms? What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? Who’s there? Be careful, with them: Three guys go on a ski trip together. He desperately needed some holiday spirit. Do you smell carrots? They all are standing there awkwardly until one of them spots a stain on the carpet. What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? 91. He worked it out with a pencil. 0 . Just be careful: You can send some of these memes as a message to the right person: What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? 54. A dependent Claus. What do you get when Santa becomes a detective? After five years your job will still suck. A man goes to the doctor and says “I’ve got a problem, I have 5 penises.”. 130. There was an error in your submission. Boo who? “Chest and nuts roasting on an open fire…”. What’s red and moves up and down? How did Scrooge win the football game? What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? 122. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? What comes at the end of Christmas Day? What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat? Why is being in the military like a blow-job? You are posting comments too quickly. It had no legs. So read on and start spreading seasonal joy one funny joke at a time with the help of this list of the 150 best funny Christmas jokes for kids (plus, a few just for adults!) Robin who? Please be advised, these jokes condescending, evil, racist, mean, sick and so forth. What do you call a guy with a small dick? Here's Who We Think Will Win the, 19 Impressive Christmas Desserts That Will Blow Away the Store-Bought Sweets. The Christmas alphabet has No-el.es. Refresh your page, login and try again. “Is it in?”. Funny Adult Humor. What does Jack Frost like best about school? And How Do You Celebrate It? Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. What is the best Christmas present in the world? Please try again. 11. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus. Fuck you said who? 94. You should be fit to be tied. He wanted to get a long little doggie. Foiled again. Hey, just warning you: These lolable jokes should only be told among those who will accept your weird sense of humor: Who’s there? When he gets a sweater, but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner. Incorrect email or username/password combination. conditions of our, Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance 30. We have some cool puns to add to your collection: Party time always gives us a reason to laugh. The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? 59. VIDEOS. Ivana. 69 with three people watching. I decided to start smoking only after sex. 93. Read on to discover the best clean jokes that promise a whole lot of giggles for both adults and kids alike.. 101 Clean Jokes. Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole! Their days are numbered! Why was the guitar teacher arrested? How does a snowman lose weight? You spread its little legs. 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